Perspective

I subscribe to Henrik Edberg’s blog called “The Positivity Blog.”

Today’s blog post was called “One of my absolute favourite ways to handle criticism.”

I found that intriguing and I clicked on the e-mail.

Henrik chooses to handle criticism by thinking that “everyone has the right to their own opinion.”

I don’t like the word “criticism” – you can have “harsh criticism” and you can have “constructive criticism” and they both have a negative connotation to me.

Instead of “criticism”, I like the word “perspective.”

“Perspective” has a more neutral ring to it.

Recently at work I submitted a piece for our company newsletter.

My editor wanted to make changes.

I looked carefully at each of the changes that were suggested.

My editor wanted to change the title of the piece. I thought the title that my editor suggested was better, so let’s go with my editor’s suggestion.

My editor wanted to say something that was not in my voice. I suggested that the new wording be removed and my editor agreed with the suggestion.

My editor wanted to add wording. I thought that the new wording was actually to my benefit and so I agreed with the new wording.

When I first saw the suggested changes, I got defensive but I thought let’s look carefully at the suggestions and figure out why the changes were being suggested. When I took that perspective, I could see that some of the suggestions were an improvement to my original piece while one of the suggested changes was not written in my voice and I asked for that to be removed. My editor was open to hearing what I had to say and agreed with my suggestion to have some words removed.

When we have a different perspective from someone, all we want is to express our perspective and to be heard.

Awhile ago, my friend mentioned to me that he was leaving his contact lens in his eyes overnight.

Immediately that set off alarm bells.

I went looking on the Internet to find a reputable article to say that contact lens should not be left in your eyes overnight.

I passed along my concern and the article to my friend via e-mail.

I wasn’t certain how my friend would take my advice. 

It turned out that he was OK with my advice and to my delight he followed my advice!

I thought to myself that I will raise my concern with my friend, and that if he chooses to leave his contact lens in his eyes, then there is not much that I can do about it.

Sometimes if you have a concern about something with somebody, it’s best to raise your concern with the other person.   

For the person who is receiving the advice/concern/etc., please try and keep an open mind…all the other person wants is to express their perspective and to be heard.

Sometimes you can’t change someone else’s behaviour. In my example, if my friend chose to leave his contact lens in his eyes, I would have had to let that go.

Words carry meaning.

I prefer the word “perspective” rather than “criticism.”

What’s your perspective?

In Rubin's Vase, do you see two faces or a vase?

Also Published on LinkedIn on:  May 8, 2017

Image Credit:  Rubin's Vase - Wikipedia