What I've Learned About Building Relationships (Part 1)

I am a Human Resources Professional In Transition.

I am a Relationship Builder who is good at building relationships.  

(You may be thinking to yourself:  “Relationship Builder”?  Hmmm…sounds vague, what exactly does that mean and aren’t all HR professionals “good with people” anyway?)

I share some of my thoughts on building relationships.

The Servant’s Mentality – This concept was mentioned in one of Jacob Morgan’s podcasts.  Mr. Morgan is a futurist and author of “The Future of Work.”  I admire his work.  You can check out his web site here.  In a workplace context, the servant’s mentality describes a leadership style where a manager takes on  a mentor, coach or enabler role rather than a command-and-control style with his/her direct reports.  The manager’s role is to “serve” their direct reports by helping to remove barriers that may stand in the way of their success.  I would like to add that from my HR perspective, I think a servant’s mentality also describes a way of being.  So, it’s being humble, being helpful and wanting to serve other people. 

At one of my previous employers, my mindset was that I wanted to be of service to other people.  Funny, but at the time, I didn’t know that there was a name for this mindset!  Whenever an employee dropped into the HR department, I would set aside what I was doing and fully attend to the employee.  In my mind, the employee was the most important person in the world at that moment.  I wanted the employee to feel that they had a good experience after they interacted with me.   I always closed the transaction on a positive note by following-up as promised in a prompt fashion! 

I consider myself to be a humble person, that no task is “beneath me.”  For example, I was the chair of the FISH! Committee that organized the annual company BBQ.  I always volunteered to do some heavy lifting.  (I literally mean “heavy lifting” because a few of my colleagues and I moved tables and chairs from inside to outside in the parking lot where our BBQ’s were held!)  I volunteered to do this task because I liked doing it and I didn’t know how to do some of the other tasks that needed to get done, like doing the barbecuing! 

I was an enabler on the Joint Health and Safety Committee, although my official title was Co-Chair of the Joint Health and Safety Committee.  I would do things that helped the Committee to get things done.  For example, I thought that one of the procedures needed to be revamped.  To help the Committee along, I drafted a revised procedure and asked the Committee to review and provide their comments.  After going through several drafts and a couple of meetings, the Committee and I agreed on a final version that we could all be proud of. 

To me, having a servant’s mentality means a couple of things:  wanting to provide an excellent employee experience, being humble and wanting to serve people or be an enabler.  The end result of assuming a servant’s mentality is forging great relationships!  

If you would like to learn more about the servant’s mentality, I suggest reading a Huffington Post article by Jeffrey Hayzlett called “Having a Servant’s Mentality in Customer Service.”

Communicate for Understanding - I like to communicate in such a way that there is no misunderstanding. 

I’ll share an example. 

I was making arrangements with a friend (via e-mail) to meet for a coffee networking meeting.

I wasn’t sure what time nor for how long my friend would be able to meet.  I wrote what I thought my friend meant and asked if I had the correct interpretation.  It turned out that my interpretation was not correct, but then we eventually got to the same page.

The moral of the story is to reflect back what you think the speaker was saying and to ask questions if you are unsure. 

Practise emotional intelligence – Emotional intelligence is being self-aware and being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes (empathy).  I suggest reading “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves.  The authors tell us that we can practise emotional intelligence, and they provide insights on how to get better at it.  An emotional intelligence test is made available online that you can use to gauge your emotional intelligence.  In addition Dr. Bradberry is a LinkedIn Influencer who writes very interesting articles on psychology.  

As for me, I’m aware of when my hot buttons have been triggered.  I take a step back and reflect and respond appropriately.  I figure out why my hot button was triggered, and I learn something about myself in the process.   

You know the saying “don’t burn your bridges behind you”?

For me I like to build relationships rather than to burn my bridges behind me!

Originally Published on LinkedIn:  February 19, 2016

Image Credit: Pixabay